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A young child says to his mother, "Mom, when I grow up I think I\'d like to be a musician." She replies, "Well honey, you know you can\'t do both."    
     
Q: What do you call a guitar player with two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.		    
     
Q: What do you call a guitar player that only knows two chords?
A: A music critic. 		   
     
Relative minor: A guitarist\'s girlfriend.    
     
Q: – How do you know that there is a singer on your front porch?
A: – They can’t find the key and don’t know where to come in.		    
     
Q: What does it say on a blues singer\'s tombstone?
A: "I didn\'t wake up this morning..."		    
     
Q: Why do people play trombone?
A: Because they can\'t move their fingers and read music at the same time.		    
     
Q: How many trombonists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, but it\'s the only thing they won\'t screw.		    
     
Q: How are musicians like linoleum?
A: Lay them once and you can walk on them forever.		    
     
Q: What\'s the difference between a guitar player and a large pizza?
A: A large pizza can feed a family of four.		    
     
Q: What has 3 teeth and an IQ of 47?
A: The first 4 rows at a Marilyn Manson Concert.		    
     
Q: – How do you get the musician off your front porch?
A: – Pay for the pizza		    
     
Q: – What do you call a musician that just lost his girl friend?
A: – Homeless		    
     
Q: What\'s the difference between a jet airplane and a trumpet?
A: About three decibels.