[home] [amps] [acoustic guitars] [electric guitars 2] [ bass guitars ] [ p.a.] [wind] [misc]
Superior Music           Musician JOKES page "BASS Players"
[back] [page 1] [page2] [page 3] [page 4] [page 5] [page 6]
[page 7] [page 8] [page 9] [page 10] [page 11] [page 12] [page 13] [page 14] [page 15]

Bass Brain

A guitar player comes to the doctor and complains about a serious deterioration of his memory. He especially has a hard time remembering correct changes and is afraid to lose all his gigs. Since the doctor can't find the cause, he asks the guitarist to leave behind his brain for a week in his lab for more detailed examinations. After seven days the guitar player fails to show up, and even after 2 more weeks there's no sign of him. Finally the doctor runs into him on the street, grabs him and asks: "Excuse me, but your brain is still waiting for you to stop by and pick it up, so why don't you show up?" The guitarist says, "Well, I think you can keep it; I finally switched to bass..."

Q: What's the difference between a double bass and a coffin…..
A: A coffin has the corpse on the inside.

Q: Why do bands have bass players?
A: To translate for the drummer.  

Q: What's the definition of a bass player?
A: Halfway between a drummer and a musician. 

Q: What's the difference between a Bassist and a Rhino that's just eaten a tin of baked beans?
A: One's a huge useless thing that makes a deep farting noise and the other is a Rhino.

Q: Did you hear about the time the bass player locked his keys in the car? 
A: It took two hours to get the drummer out.

Q: How do you get a bass player's eyes to sparkle….
A: Shine a light in his ear.

A man gives his son an electric bass for his 15th birthday, along with a coupon for four bass lessons. When the son returns from his first lesson, the father asks, "So, what did you learn?"
"Well, I learned the first five notes on the E string." Next week, after the second lesson, the father again asks about the progress, and the son replies, "This time I learned the first five notes on the A string." One week later, the son comes home far later than expected, smelling of cigarettes and beer. So the father asks: "Hey, what happened in today's lesson?" "Dad, I'm sorry I couldn't make it to my lesson; I had a gig!"
A tour manager comes across the guitarist and bass player fighting at the side of the stage and pulls them apart asking what the problem was. "That bastard detuned one of the strings on my bass", says the bass player, "And we're on stage in five minutes." "So what's the problem?", asks the tour manager. "He won't tell me which string it was he detuned", said the Bassist.